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January 2002
Arsenal 1 Liverpool 1 This was a weird one; a 0-0 draw but with goals. With Liverpool’s tactics consisting entirely of block, hoof and run, the only interesting thing was an impromptu floodlight counting competition. I don’t think I managed to count them all, but I did spend the rest of the game blinking away thousand of circular purple after images and nursing a headache not experienced outside of drinking furniture polish. The only real high point in this snore draw was Ljungberg’s glorious run into the Liverpool area, taking the ball around Dudek and then firing across an open goal. His goal, a great bit of wing play from Bergkamp then a sublime ball to Pires and finally a slot to the running Freddy for the easiest of tap-ins, was also a bit special. And that was your lot. Liverpool’s goal (a ‘hoof’’ upfield, funny enough) was latched onto by Riise and shamefully watched inertly by Taylor, who flapped at it like Mr Bean with a motor neurone disease. Crap bit of keeping. Wright will be back next week against Leeds; bet on it. Mind you there was a lot of flapping going on in the Arsenal defence. Luzhny at right back, Upson at left and Grimandi forced into a role where there was little difference between being a linchpin and a drawing pin. The only bright spot was Lee Dixon coming on for the last ten minutes. The only other thing of note was the barracking from the Clock End. No, not Anelka. He got a few boo’s but really no-one gives a toss about him. Unlike our magnanimous brethren up at the Lane, nobody at Highbury could be bothered to print 10,000 balloons with ‘Nicholas Awanka’ written on them. No, the Clock End’s wit was directed at the human Proboscis monkey, Phil Thompson. Every time he stood up, they sang, ‘Sit Down Pinnochio’ (to the tune of ‘We’ve got Silvinho’) and then a rousing chorus of ‘Get your nostrils off the pitch’ (to ‘Who’s the wanker in the black’). It was hilarious. But the rest of the game was pants on ice. Surely the Leed’s one will be a bit more of a battle. This one was a genuine throwback to the old days; before life was invented and God had turned the lights on. Just crap. Man of the Match: Freddy.
Blackburn 2 Arsenal 3 You could call this one a cliffhanger or you could look upon it as another game where we leaked like a dodgy prostrate. Two nil up after twenty minutes, Blackburn were allowed to pull back to 2-2 courtesy of some rotten defending of the Ukrainian variety - no names mentioned. Of the goals, Bergkamp’s second, Arsenal’s third was the cream; a glorious strike the whistled under Friedel’s body. Of course, the next day nobody mentioned that Wiltord had a perfectly good goal disallowed or that Blackburn kicked the Arse all over the park (as Keown’s broken leg testified a couple of days later.) No, it was all about Luzhny’s sending off and Dirty Dennis who should have been sent off according to that fine arbiter of fair play, Graham Souness. Anyone with half an eye could see Berkgkamp was being fouled rotten before his trailing arm caught the Blackburn player in the mush. But then again, he’s not Michael Owen, is he? Good result, poor game. And that ridiculous unbeaten away record is still in place. Man of the Match: Dennis Bergkamp.
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