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November 2000 4.11.00 Middlesbrough 0 Arsenal 1
Middlesbrough 0 Arsenal 1 The best way to describe this game would be ‘wallpaper’. Nice pattern, but ultimately you grow used to it and ten minutes after gluing it into place you’d be hard pressed to notice it. Arsenal were efficient and unspectacular- Middlesbrough just blindly trudging along a tunnel with no light. When God hates your guts there’s nothing to do but grit your teeth and try not to moan too much when the locusts start to rain around you. Middlesbrough started brightly and always looked like exposing the shortcomings of John Lukic, but fate can be a big horrible sod if he doesn’t like you and for the Boro the best they could hope for was to keep the score respectable. Just before half time Crossley brought down Ljungberg. We had a penalty and poor old Mark Crossley was sent off. Really didn’t seem fair. Henry converted and then spent the rest of the game torturing the Riversiders with a collection of flicks, lobs, shots and shimmies. The score could have vast. Maybe the tide is turning for the Boro. Who knows? At this stage of the season it’s good to play pants and still be big in the trouser department. Things are looking large. Man of the Match: Thierry for the party stuff.
Arsenal 0 Derby 0 It’s all very well having a bit of a retro fest by having Johnny Lukic keep goal, but who the hell let Don Howe manage yesterday’s team? This was probably the most wretched game of Wenger’s reign and the only thing that stopped Derby being four nothing up at half time was the fact that most of the Rams’ strikers seemed to be suffering from some kind of motor neurone disease. Believe me, they’re going down big time if they carry on playing like this. Apart from the shit awful weather and a peculiar referee who blew up for half time after 43 minutes Arsenal had very few excuses to cling to; this was just a terrible game and a deeply worrying performance. The second half was better, but really Bergkamp, Henry, and in particular Keown and Parlour should have stayed in bed that morning. Only Wiltord and the wily Grimandi who went off midway through the second half seemed to possess any spirit. But the bulk of the game was straight out of the early eighties; you must remember those afternoons that were eight days long, full of bone numbing cold, driving rain and creaky offside traps? Well Derby took us right back- and Arsenal played their part too. And for this I missed Barnet thumping Blackpool 7-0. Wet, cold and bored. It took me back twenty years but aged me another fifty. Complete toilet. Man of the Match: Grimandi.
Everton 2 Arsenal 0 Anyone who saw the Derby game could also see this one coming. Really, if they can’t beat Everton, they have no right to beat anyone. A few people might point out that Arsenal had seven first team regulars out, but then someone else might mention that Everton had eleven first choices out. This was a bad as it probably can get; a few people like Henry and Silvinho should be back for the game against Moscow. The only bright thing was the return of Manninger who promptly let in two goals. Come back Lukic, all is forgiven. The only other thing of note was Ljungberg hitting the bar, which is exactly what we did after the game. Let’s hope this is the bottom of the trough. Man of the Match: Leave off.
Leeds 1 Arsenal 0 First, the excuses. 1. Leeds were over physical and the ref was bent. Lee Bowyer seems to have a mandate to kick anyone he likes. (But see the back end of no 2.) Arsenal had seven players booked and Leeds one. Alan Smith is the luckiest psycho outside the Broadmoor secure unit. All this represents a severe miscarriage of justice. However, do bear in mind that we weren’t that special anyway. 2. O’Leary has turned into a worthy successor to Alex Ferguson. He’s a wind-up merchant, dishonest, a fucking cheat and boy, does he like a moan. Even though O’Leary allegedly blowing kisses at Robert Pires does constitute a rather weird form of harassment. Still, O’Leary will have something to really moan about when half his squad get sent down in January. 3. Arsenal may be fit in body, but there’s something definitely wrong with their minds. Wiltord could have had a couple and Vieira went close also. In a way this is like a few seasons ago when we lost to Blackburn and then went on a killing spree that culminated in doing the double. Second. The future. Three home games in seven days. This is what we reckon for the next week: (For what it’s worth we had the Derby, Everton and Leeds scores spot on. OK we were a little out on the Spartak one- 2-0 to the Arsenal if you can believe it.) Arsenal 3 Southampton 1 Arsenal 2 Bayern Munich 1 Arsenal 1 Newcastle 1 See, there is room for stupid optimism. Man of the Match: Still suspended.
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