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1999/00 30.11.99
Middlesbrough 2 Arsenal 2
Arsenal 2 Preston 1 It’s amazing how northerners can get up your nose. There were scads of them wandering around Highbury all pointing at shops that weren’t boarded up and people wearing clothes that fitted and wondering how a whole Borough could have been turned into a Yuppie version of Disney World. On the last point, I’m with them. Still, I digress. The main point is that not one of the Preston boys had a clue where the ground was. After the nth time of being asked, I heard someone say, "Ask your fucking granddad." Indeed, it must be many moons since Preston ventured down to Highbury. As rude as we are about northerners, the Preston supporters deserved better. Packed into a corner of an empty Highbury (a tad over 15,000 turned up. Call yourself supporters. Bah) they sang, clapped, shouted and generally embarrassed the Arsenal supporters in everything except our superior knowledge of the offside rule. But more of that later. It was a good side put out by Wenger: Seaman, Luzhny, Silvinho, Malz, Winterburn, Upson, Grimandi, Henry, Parlour, Vernazza and Kanu, with Vieira, Overmars and young Jermaine Pennant on the bench. Good start too, with Malz having an absolutely stonking fifteen minutes, or maybe it was only fourteen. Still, for a full debut he did well. Henry nearly scored the goal of the millennia when back to goal and pressed by a Prestonite he kicked it backwards overhead, over the defender, turned and ran around the stupefied bloke then shot smartly at goal, only to see the ball smothered. Oh well. Preston played well. On one of their flurries upfield a break-up tackle by the Arsenal launched a ball up at floodlight level that found Kanu running into space leaving the Preston defence for dead. This is where everyone raised north of Birmingham screamed ‘offside’. They might has well screamed ‘aardvark’, it would have probably been more accurate. With all the pitch to run about in, Kanu headed goalwards, rounded the keeper and shot into an empty net. 1-0. And yes, he was on. We were still larging it over the Preston when they pulled one back. And what a great goal it was. Seaman, who has two big weaknesses; long range dead balls and long range moving balls, showed us a new one: the up and over parallel side chip. Smart goal. In the second half I finally worked out what was bothering me about Preston. Apart from wearing Spurs’s kit they are also sponsored by Baxi and Baxi make boilers; the boiler in my flat to be exact. I almost felt I was betraying my appliances every time I booed the Preston. Overmars finally came on for the over stretched Vernazza and Arsenal pressed methodically, if not that intelligently. Only Silvinho looked absolutely top drawer. He just gets better and better. At the other end of the spectrum, Ray Parlour did a serviceable impersonation of a blind pantomime horse. Another attack by the Arse was broken up by stoic defending. The ball came free of the pack and Stefan Malz cracked a shot that bounced and rocketed into the bottom right of the Preston goal. Excellent. And that was that. All those that stayed away, the Yuppie glory seeking trash and the fair weather boys. Tough. You missed a decent game. Man of the Match: Silvinho. Impressive.
Chant of the Week Absolutely nothing to do with nothing but the Newcastle fans chant about the Sunderland manager, Peter Reid, is priceless: (To the tune of ‘Yellow Submarine’) "Peter Reid has a monkey for a heed. Monkey for a heed. Monkey for a heed." (Repeat until meaningless.)
Middlesbrough
2 Arsenal 2 Does this really matter? Well, it mattered that Ray Parlour went off with an injury that’ll probably keep him out to Christmas; it mattered that Thierry Henry scored an absolute screamer and Suker put home a classic poacher’s goal and it mattered that Jermaine Pennant, at sixteen years old, younger than some of my spots, finally got his first team debut and looked well tasty. It also mattered that Arsenal’s latest disease, Missius Penaltyus, is now running rampant through the Highbury ranks. Oh well. I suppose it didn’t matter that much then. But then again if you watch kids playing over the park you always support the team that has a smattering of Arsenal shirts. And you get the hump if they lose. Me, I sulk if the little man who lives inside the Playstation beats my red and white pixel army. Yes it does matter. Bugger. Man of the Match: Davor Suker. Pulled off a fine bit of skill right near the end, but got no joy from it.
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